This time next year.

I didnt receive any material gifts this year. Not one. Although I did celebrate Christmas and went through all the congestion associated with it. But in many ways, things have sorted themselves rather wonderfully so, and that itself is the best gift I can get and probably have gotten in many years.

Given my old self many many years back, I'd be more delirious, more enthusiastic about what the future holds. But I am 28+3 days closer to being 22 (Hint not intended) And although sometimes I dont feel much of an adult- more like a half baked potato in a sea of over cooked ones, I know enough to understand that there is a difference on how I view happiness now and then.

I guess I grew more wary about matters. Realize how fragile the foundations of everything we hold dear to can be. I only hope that this time next year,perhaps with a different situation or a different reason, I can be as contented as I am now, at this moment.

Surely that isnt an over ambitious resolution to make.

The sheer lack of solid ground, the twisted turns and constantly having people flitting in and out of ones life- it is interesting, but also very tiring. Recently, I often find myself standing up against so many older, more eloquent and educated people - in an area in which im not even familiar with to begin with- it just feels like I am asking too much of myself. Telling people how old I actually am, sometimes makes things worst- I see eyebrows raised and people trying to take advantage of my so called lack of experience.. in well, everything.

Non the less, thank you for being there for me for the past month or two. The time when I came down with a cold, you came to my place when I wasnt around and left me a note with instructions as to how to find and use the vitamin C pills and tissues which was stashed in your coat pockets. Each time I had a bad day at work, all I had to do was to give you a call, and you will be there. Instead of ciggie breaks, we'd go for ice cream or slurpee breaks. Sometimes I dont talk, and just stare off into blank space while trying not to think about, anything. Instead I let you talk. Sometimes, I just rant on and on, and for some reason you find my rants amusing - even when I wasnt even trying to be funny.

Thank you for never trying to give unwanted advice, for never asking me awkward questions I have no answers to, for holding me back when I nearly lashed out at the 7/11 worker when I was pissy and frustrated after freshly getting out of an argument with a bull headed ego person. I confess, yes- I hardly lose my temper, but when I do, it can get really reallyyy ugly.

I guess you were just there when I really needed someone to be there. And I really appreciate that so much. At least you didnt send me a sms after a week asking me about how I am..and then talking about the weather, when there was so many more things to talk about under the sun (no pun intended)

Ps: Kekawanku, I know the pic above is highly irrelevant to the post and is blurry. But then again, nothing I have seems relevant. Hence the vain pic. Btw that is my sis.

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If making mistakes freaks us out to the point where we are too afraid to take even the smallest chance anymore..... :(

Its okay.
Life still goes on after a blunder.