Relieved, rejoicing yet reconsidering

Relieved


PASSED!!
Yes, I passed everything! Had to refresh the webpage twice to recomfirm my happiness. Oh yes bloody hell! I dont know how I made it with all the last minute cramming. And all the pontenging. And sleeping/talking/daydreaming in class. And neglecting my tutorial papers. Ok, forget history, the point is I PASSED everything.

Now pray all A's =P

Rejoicing
I got my new beloved piece of metal today (sony ericsson w800i) at an affordable price!! Thank god for mei wei's relative and that I had some leftover from my 6 months working stint


Isnt it an eye candy??

Reconsidering

Upon obtaining my results, Yes, I was elated. But somehow, I know I have not given it my all. I know I didnt. Yet, I passed. I dont know why, but all of a sudden, I feel extreamly guilty. Sheech, I dont understand myself at all.

Sure i passed everything. And sure, I find business administration ok. Yet, I do not have this drive to study. So far, I've been studying for the sake studying. Which unfortunately is all done at last minute. Perhaps this is because business studies wasnt even on my priority list until I was in form five.

These are what that was on my mind WAAAAY before business studies.

1) Vet
This was my first childhood dream. I love animals so it was a natural decision..Until my parents told me its unrealistic.

2) Doctor
A realistic childhood dream given up due to financial and time constrains. I am the eldest so sacrifices must be made. Amazingly, most of my relative who havent seen me for years always assume that I am currently studying doctoring.

3) Phyciatrist
This went on for a few years. But I wasnt as serious about this as the above two.

Other things I had considered=
advertising, graphic design,like sketching journalism love writing and public relations dropped it since I decided I used to have this unique ability to say the perfectly wrong things at the perfect time, thus pissing people off sometimes. I think I am better at keeping my mouth shut now. I think.

Somehow, I cant keep myself from wondering, "How would I have flared if I had taken a different path?"

Would I have done well?
Would I have screwed up?

You know what, I think too much.
I am doing ok. Why am I still questioning myself?