Saturday, May 19, 2007
Familiar strangers
We all have such people in our lives. People who once meant so much to you. Who you cared so much once upon a time. And probably have known for several centuries.
You used to talk on the phone for so long that your ears start to hurt from the pressure of the earpiece.Still you prevailed for as long as possible. And if you cant, well, you place the earpiece to the other ear. There was nothing you couldnt talk about.
Then all of a sudden, it seems that you are always the one to call, and there are more awkward blanks to fill in between your conversations. She keeps talking about people and things which you dont know and cant comprehend. Basically, you start geting clueless.
Then one fine day, you guys just dont seem to have anything to talk about anymore. You people try to laugh the awkwardness off. Quickly you end the conversation, saying you are busy. When in fact, you have absolutely nothing to do but stare at the cobwebs at the corner of your room. Putting down the earpiece after saying goodbye and staring at it for sometime, you get this feeling that its gotta be the last time you guys REALLY talk. And you were right. You never called. She never bothered.
Have you ever looked old autograph books and yearbooks, stared at the old faces and handwritings, and subconsiously started to wonder how these people were doing.
Then you start questioning yourself: What are they doing? Where are they? Are they still staying at the same place? Can I contact them? Should I contact them? Even so, will they even remember me? Lets say they dont, can I bear with the embarassment?
Most of the time, you just your ego and arrogant pride take control of the situation. You find it impossible to break the invisible wall between the past and the present. Cause as you look at the familiar faces, you feel a sense of strangeness as well.
Besides, it always seem safer to hold on to sweet memories of the past instead of bringing the past into the present. Cause we are afraid of the unknown. Familar as the smiling faces may be, you have the unsettling feeling that things arent as simple as they were a hundred years ago.. saying a simple 'hi' after 6735364 years would seem awkward, unusual, suspicious and.... perhaps a bit fake? People will probably think you are trying to borrow money off them money. Or sell insurance.
I googled my primary classmates names just now. Amazingly, I got their GCE results. like wth.I am surprised some of them still remained in the same school throught out their schooling years. All through kindergaden to primary and secondary, when I have changed so many schools.
For some unknown reason, when I saw their names on the monitor, I felt happy. At least, I know that they are alive and well. I know its really stupid to feel happy just by looking at a bunch of names. But it made my day.
Thinking all this just feels so.. lonely. No matter how you put it, people come and go, life goes on and slowly, you cant seem to recognize that familar face anymore.
How many familar strangers do you have in your life?
Labels: life
posted by hiddenmcky at 6:53 PM
2 Comments:
a long time ago.. i saw a former classmate.. and she didnt recognized me. i was afraid to go to her and say 'hi'.. cause i think she'll scream for the police..
recently, elaine sent me a friendster comment.. saying "if i didnt leave a comment, will you still remember me?"
sigh. you're right. reminiscing the good times, makes me feel lonely. then again, we have to keep moving.. living in the past, constantly thinking of the same old memories are just going to hold us back.. so let's make new ones.. the more, the merrier :)
i hnew a lot of tem. I remembered i told u tat i dun hav a single best fren last longer than 3 years.
Hopefully u dun bcome 1 of tem.
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