september for me, at press time was filled with alot of exceptionally craptastic happenings piled on top of one another. kinda like kuih lapis- minus the sweetness.

september was the time when i tried to cut some strings that tied me up. held me back. only to realise that some strings are not easily severed. refused to be severed. you know what people often say that they walk away just to see who follows or try to hold them back? its true really. and it does suck to know how one can hurt the ones they care the most about for our own selfish reasons. yet we must do it. for one reason or another.

september was the time when i understood about how important it was to follow my instincts. cause apparently, almost everything i predicted and feared would happen was tragically spot on. i swear i should be a clairvoyant. if only the jabatan would certify it as a valid profession. hm.

september was the time when i thought alot about karma. sometimes i think all this is happening because i havent actually appreciated the fact that i have been blessed with pretty good brains. i admit i was lazy for these past few years. and was constantly getting distracted and preoccupied by little things that in end, didnt matter so much anyway. which made me promise myself when i do my degree, i swear i shall work that cauliflower brain of mine.

september was the time when i felt slightly guilty about not believing in god. i have always been nagged by my mom to pray before sleeping. but i dont. because sometimes i think god is like an imaginary friend men made up to talk to when shit happens. although the words "perhaps you should try praying, maybe all this is happening cause you lack faith" does sting a little sometimes.

but then again...I dont kill, or do drugs, practice corruption or commit horrible crimes. I think thats sufficient. If a god does exist, i think he wouldnt be so nasty to stuff me into hell for something so trivial. although he might suggest reincarnation as an option. but that would depend on my religion....hm.

august was much more simple really.