Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Today i berbual-ed kosong with an old friend over msn. being a rather lousy friend (in my own personal opinion) and perpetually non-existent to her for the past year, i'd say im surprised having her layan me like the old times.
then it dawned to me.
like the old times is an understatement.
this person was talking as if yesterday was today.
as if past tense is present tense. it was like suddenly, i am transported to the time when i ran around with my too thick spectacles and short hair. when people used to believe in bersih cekap amanah. a time when people used to believe that anwar was gay and incapable (as in leading. dont get wrong ideas k)
sure i remember the things she mentioned. lets just say i have a memory as ridiculously clear as this person in question so it wouldnt be an issue if i wanted to continue talking about the past.
but i dont. cause i know what happened in the past already. i feel like i am forced to watch reruns of a drama i had followed before. damnit.
i want to talk about now. sekarang. xian zai. yi ka. how have things been. how have they changed. how are you coping. i miss you.
dont get wrong ideas, its not like i dont like the past. but reminiscing about it too often takes you away from present. no good!
you know, and i know. things have changed- they have to. its natural. we grow up a little. our skin gets a little thicker. we get thrown with responsibilities we dont really like. we speak and think a little more dirtier thus causing everything we hear to sound wrong. we hurt, get hurt and try to get over it. we develop weird sleeping habits and grow fat even if we eat half the amount of food we used to consume :(
just because i wear sissy color once in awhile, run around in heels and on certain occasions look like i fell face flat into makeup doesnt mean i'm incapable of being myself. i still feel very me.
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if it any consolation, almost half my wardrobe is still black-ish. i still occasionally wear surfer dude pants at home. some habits are hard to kill k.
ps: angelin, since you asked, my inner ah lian name is mei gui. damn lame sorry its the first name i thought of beside mei lian. anyway check out the little girl in pink beremo in the corner throughout the whole video. adorable! oh yeah there's an english version of this classic song pls youtube it, its so weird in so many ways.
posted by hiddenmcky at 6:00 AM
2 Comments:
eh!! i used to always get those stuff! crappy toys and chocolates but damn nostalgik lah... gosh. i remember the ads on tv for those. it's always that kinda dying malay kid voice.
oh.
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dia masih tak berubah lagi? sigh. :( i understand how you feel. sometimes i get people mocking the way i look now cause i dont look like how i used to look. then again we're still the same person kan? salah ke repackage sedikit? T.T
re: ps: HAHAAHAHHAHAAA!!! WTF!! MEI GUI!! like pretty ghost kah?? i watched that vid! bloody hell i cannot get the song out of my head. and that girl in pink.. sob. i just want to pick her up and watch cartoons with her.
i used to get tht stuff as well. haha i wanted to get one actually at tht time but someone stopped me :(
repackage! wtf. what a way to put it..
nolah mei gui is rose. you know, like rosie puah in puah chu kang?
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