Thursday, February 05, 2009
Ode to the malaysian transport system
The scenario:
You're early. You're in a good mood.
And guess what? Train decided to die on you.
and thus you brood.
Whee happy day.
**
I am now officially a frequent commuter of the malaysian transport system. And unfortunately, my timetables always seem to clash with the peak hours. Thus Ive decided to write something about it. Out of annoyance, frustration and genuine kehpohness disguised in a beautiful bundle which I shall name "care"
Tips to surviving the malaysian transport system.
1. Patience.
Malaysian commuters are really really patient people. We wait and wait and wait for the train to come. When the train comes, we realize that: half the time its full and half the time its crowded. Obviously we cant shove ourselves into a full carriage (we aint dumb you know) but we WILL shove ourselves into a crowded carriage to make it full.
For people taking the bus, you'd have to block obscene thoughts when the bus lady goes "cepat masuk, masuk dalam lagi, masuk belakang lagi"
At.every.stop.
2.Physical strength
We are ruthless, in a rush and desperate to go home. We will stop at nothing to get our ass planted nicely on the sofa at home at the earliest time possible. Despite our endless patience while waiting for the train, all this dissipates the moment the transport arrives. Which is amazing, considering after the the time spent waiting earlier, we cant wait 30 seconds to let people out.
Thus, people need to learn the art of pushing people out of the way to 1. get out 2. get in of the train/bus. So unless you wanna lose an ahmah or a little kid, then its safer to leave them at home during crowded hours.
3. Balancing.
After forcing our way into the transport, finding a space, we now need to find the nearest thing to grab on to before it moves. And then you have to make sure you dont accidently grab things you should not grab. Sometimes you cant find something to grab on, or its too far. Thus the art of balancing is vital.
Women are especially good at this. Watch them balance in those heels. Although they do sometimes hurt people.. unintentionally. of course.
4.Dressing decently.
No serious. When people are bored, they start looking for things to occupy their thoughts with. May I add that staring down at the nearest partly exposed cleavage is quite occupying indeed.
5.The art of holding ones breath.
I dont want to talk about this. Some people just need deodorant.
Yeah as you can see, I really do "care" about the transport system.
The scenario:
You're early. You're in a good mood.
And guess what? Train decided to die on you.
and thus you brood.
Whee happy day.
**
I am now officially a frequent commuter of the malaysian transport system. And unfortunately, my timetables always seem to clash with the peak hours. Thus Ive decided to write something about it. Out of annoyance, frustration and genuine kehpohness disguised in a beautiful bundle which I shall name "care"
Tips to surviving the malaysian transport system.
1. Patience.
Malaysian commuters are really really patient people. We wait and wait and wait for the train to come. When the train comes, we realize that: half the time its full and half the time its crowded. Obviously we cant shove ourselves into a full carriage (we aint dumb you know) but we WILL shove ourselves into a crowded carriage to make it full.
For people taking the bus, you'd have to block obscene thoughts when the bus lady goes "cepat masuk, masuk dalam lagi, masuk belakang lagi"
At.every.stop.
2.Physical strength
We are ruthless, in a rush and desperate to go home. We will stop at nothing to get our ass planted nicely on the sofa at home at the earliest time possible. Despite our endless patience while waiting for the train, all this dissipates the moment the transport arrives. Which is amazing, considering after the the time spent waiting earlier, we cant wait 30 seconds to let people out.
Thus, people need to learn the art of pushing people out of the way to 1. get out 2. get in of the train/bus. So unless you wanna lose an ahmah or a little kid, then its safer to leave them at home during crowded hours.
3. Balancing.
After forcing our way into the transport, finding a space, we now need to find the nearest thing to grab on to before it moves. And then you have to make sure you dont accidently grab things you should not grab. Sometimes you cant find something to grab on, or its too far. Thus the art of balancing is vital.
Women are especially good at this. Watch them balance in those heels. Although they do sometimes hurt people.. unintentionally. of course.
4.Dressing decently.
No serious. When people are bored, they start looking for things to occupy their thoughts with. May I add that staring down at the nearest partly exposed cleavage is quite occupying indeed.
5.The art of holding ones breath.
I dont want to talk about this. Some people just need deodorant.
Yeah as you can see, I really do "care" about the transport system.
Labels: rants
posted by hiddenmcky at 10:04 AM
2 Comments:
i hope that whenever a malaysian googles "how to survive malaysian transport system" - they'll come across this page. god bless that malaysian's soul. oh. and your's too.
amen. amin. amitabha.
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