GAH! We are all just a bunch of tortoises


I should be studying.
I REALLY should be studying.
REALLY REALLY.

Yet here I am.
Indeed I am a delusional piece of creation.

I have a confession. I stalk people's blogs. People i know. People I sorta know. And people who I somewhat know by looks. or people I never met in real life. I am being ridiculously long winded now.

Long story cut short, I stalk people's blog.

While doing a normal round of stalking recently, I was hit with this sudden reliasation- we all are changed people.

Looking at my old classmates's blog. Yeah, cringe people. I know things. Yet again, I suppose everyone is doing abit of stalking of their own, so yeah. No hurt feelings. Blogs are after all, posted to be read. Which leads me to wonder why some people are so secretive about their blogs. For all I care, if you habour so many secrets which you'd rather not reveal, I'd suggest you keep your little secrets locked up in a fluffy perfumed pink diary tucked under your pillow. Why trouble yourself with all the html and THEN drive yourself nuts just worrying about the potential people that read your posts?

Remember people, when in doubt,there's always the fluffy perfumed pink diary to pour your heart and soul into.

Back to the story.
Reading old classmates blog. I know they have changed. Yet again, I can't be too sure of that. Being in the class that I was in, we highly competitive with everyone all scrambling to obtain rows and rows of A's. Sure, most of us had been classmates for YEARS and YEARS.

Yet amazingly, I do not know them as well as I think I should know them. Some I knew them by what people tell me they know about them, which I probably assume is what they THINK they know about them. Some I know them by merely observing them. Very few I know them well. Then there are also those I simply could not figure out who they are. Being complex creatures as they are, they change characters and personalities within nanoseconds of facing a different person and squahing the turds out of people they think is unworthy of their attention. Or simply those who they think is weird for some non existant reason.

Most of the time, I kept within a safe zone. To observe, to criticize and to somehow find a ground in which I can build some sort of understanding of those people around me. Mixing within the same group. Doing almost the same things day after day. Excruciating yes, but safe.

Do I know them? Do they know me? Do we know each other despite surviving through all the agony of ridiculously boring perhimpunans, listening to the same teacher everyday, walking the same halls and sitting in the same class EVERY SINGLE DAY of our secondary life?

Do we?
I know I dont.
I know I should have done more to get to know people better.
Perhaps I should have let people know me better.

If only we broke down all hte invisible walls, social perceptions and get to know each other better as people and not let people's opinions dictate our sad lives, we'd live to reach a much more longer lifespan.

If only.
Instead, we remain a bunch of tortises who hide in our own shells. Afraid to venture out into the wilderness. Hiding inside our safe shells when some annoying people pokes us with a stick, never to poke back. Truth said,we are actually vunerable creatures hiding under a very very VERY tough exterior.

And you know what.
I think I am the biggest tortoise of them all.

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