Slipping away.

Sometimes I wish I could just slip into someone else's flip flops.. even if they are several sizes larger.. and just soundlessly slip away from everything.

I've been feeling really directionally challenged about alot of things recently.

All I seek is simple clarification. But all I keep getting is more question marks thrown back in my way... or just more stony indifferent silence. Sometimes I get euphoric but short-lived glimpses of hope.. but they usually lead me back to where I was initially- confused.

All I can say is: Life, stop playing a cat and mouse game with me.

Labels: personal

Deep conversations and nonsensical tags

Today, upon seeing my friends msn "can someone please hand me a compass and show me the direction?", I replied with

"you want direction to where? I buy map for you"
which to she replied "I want to find my future. Can you help me?"
to which I replied "I am also looking for my future. Maybe we can help each other find each other's future bah"

her answer: "hehe"
me: "haha"

Haihs.. lifes deep conversations wtf

Anyway, heres a tag I stole from shaun cause I am too bored.

10 years ago

Outlook: was ten, slighly chubby, wore thick specs and had short hair.

At ten,I had the best birthday anyone could have wished for.
At ten, I didnt know how lucky I was.
At ten, my filipino teacher called ms cynthia wrote on my report card that I was too kehpoh
At ten, I didnt know how to sing negaraku. or remember the rukun negara.
At ten, I experienced what haze is. and the darn masks.
At ten, I lived a simple life which revolved around cartoon network's schedule.

5 years ago

Outlook: I was fifteen. Was darn thin despite having huge appetite. Short hair, thicker glasses and look like an epitome or nerdiness. Except without braces.

At fifteen, I was cursing PMR.
At fifteen, I fell asleep during my science PMR paper due to lack of coffee and was awaken by the nice invigilator.
At fifteen, I had one of the best day of the year and the worst day of the year in a week. Dad kena heart attack a few days before I got my PMR results. Wasnt too happy cause I'd rather trade all my As for him to regain his health back.
At fifteen, I spent my christmas in a hospital ward in ampang.
At fifteen, I kept everything to myself.
At fifteen, I was addicted to Ragnarok online.
At fifteen, my addiction toward the internet started.
At fifteen, I slept 3 hours every night and 5 hours in the afternoons.

1 year ago

Third sem of college. My hair was so short and I had it gelled up so people started calling me leng zai wtf. Probably was freaking out cause I was assigned with the task of campaigning for the MBDC. Abit hazy lah cant remember much. Still kept everything to myself all the time at that time.

Yesterday

Went to retake my undang test. Yes I failed the first time shutup. Wasted 5 hours of my life waiting to take the test. Sat at a mamak stall with 3 strange girls from very diverse backgrounds talking about nonsense for 2 hours before asking them what their names are.

Thankfully I passed this time.

5 snacks I enjoy

1. Hup seng biscuits
2. Tiger biskuat
3. Cloud 9
4. Chocolate.
5. Twisties

5 books I like

1. Five people you meet in heaven
2. One red paperclip
3. Vampire chronicles by ann rice
4. Harry Potter series
5. The Shawshank redemption

5 things I’d do with $100 million

1. Payoff all the damn debts.
2. Build the family a nice nice fat bungalow and a cute mini.
3.Bring whole family on an european trip
4.Buy plantations, houses, shophouses at strategic locations and then rent them all out. hahaha landlordress.
5. Invest in something stupid. like a 13 megapixel camera. hahaha!

5 places I’d love to run away to

1. Disneyland
2. Goldcoast
3. Tokyo
4. Swiss (for the chocolates)
5. My bed?

5 bad habits and pet peeves I have

1. I am very forgetful and tend leave stuff behind. All the time. It drives people crazy.
   
2. I hate toilet bowls in public toilets. They are so dirty.
   
3. I sometimes skip lunch at home cause I dont feel like eating rice.
   
4. I have very short attention span. Now what was I doing again?
   
5. I hate people who speak fake accented english. Especially if they get their tenses wrong somemore. I shall speak mandarin with them cause my english is "so veli char" just to get on their nerves.
   

5 things I like doing

1. Wasting my time
   
2. Doodling
   
3. Taking pictures of random things
   
4. People watching. Its fun, I am serious.
   
5. Sleeping.
   

5 things I would never wear

1. Lala clothes. Unless its a costume party
   
2. Overalls.
   
3. Anything from misswhatever
   
4. A clown outfit. >.<
   
5. A wig
   

5 TV shows I like

1. Hiros Heros
   
2. My Girl and Kim Sam Soon (korean)
   
3. Spongebob
   
4. Ugly Betty
   
5. I guess I guess I guess？ （台湾）
   

5 movies I like

1. I not stupid! And I not stupid too!
   
2. Steven chow's stuff
   
3. LOTR.
   
4. Click.
   
5. Forest gump.
   

5 famous people I’d like to meet (and actually talk to)

1. My grandpas
   
2. Oprah. hahaahahahha
   
3. Lee Hom. To ask him how its possible to play 10 instuments?
4. God?
5. Erm ....you lah
   

5 favorite toys

1. My computer!
   
2. Remote control
   
3. lego
   
4. roller blades. wheeee...
   
5. uno (its a toy right?)
   

5 people I’d like to see complete this

1.Bored people like me.
2.Bored people like me.
3.Bored people like me.
4.Bored people like me.
5.Bored people like me.

THE END

Okies.. damn tired wanna sleep liao. Good morning people.

Labels: tag

Of destiny and floating oranges.

Yesterday, I was dragged off by wen li to go to Tanjung Harapan to join in with the chap goh meh celebrations.

For those who are reading this and going "wtf, chap goh meh need to celebrate one meh?", well let me do a little explaining on what people do on chap goh meh.

Okay, here goes nothing.

Once upon a happy time, probably too many centuries ago, before the invention of TV and internet and other happy things, people were really desperate for some entertainment. ANY kind of entertainment. You know, something to make themselves busy. Because staring at the moon too long just looks too emo.

People were so mou liew that they decided they need 15 days to celebrate the coming of spring. Which is a pretty good idea actually, at least they are left with 350 boring days rather than 265 boring days without entertainment. Yay! =)

Anyway, this causes unnessasary pressure of the less affluent and the single. Cause although primitive chinese do not have mercedes to show off, they have 4 people carrying them up and down everywhere. 4 pairs of legs vs 4 wheels.

The singles feel pressured cause each time the relatives see them, they are bugged to get attached. So many stupid dumb young people become so emo they threw themselves into the yangtze or yellow river. But some smart ass fellow who obviously did not want to die and did not like eating mandarin oranges changed it all.So she wrote her name on a mandarin orange and threw it into river. Very symbolic if you ask me.

orange=her
her=orange

Then at that moment, some random hungry guy was feeling hungry and saw the orange float pass. So he picked it up. The girl was damn bengang, why la this idoit go pick up her orange which she so symbolically threw into the river. So she decided to march up to him to give him the lecture of the century.

Manatau, when she got there, she took one look at the fellow and melted. Tak larat nak marah sudah. cause he looked too much like edison chen. And we all know edison chen has a way with the ladies. He is cute and he knows how to use it.

And erm.. so they hooked up. Yay.
(insert rainbows and air supply music)

Other people saw this and thought it was cool. Even then, humans were attracted to polluting their rivers. Perhaps thowing bits of edible food into river was deemed very rebellious then. And we all know teenages love to rebel. =p

Old people thought it was a waste of food initially. But after they realised that you can get a great guy in exchange for a piece of not-so-fresh mandarin orange, they decided it was worth it.

So worth it that some women secretly threw oranges into the river when their husbands arent looking.
And the husbands,of course, were picking up oranges when their wives arent looking.

All is fair in the game of love. hehe

And so concludes my short story.
Sorry I was bored. Bear with me.

Ps: The celebrations at Tanjung Harapan damn "happening". Everyone was just crowding around to watch mandarin oranges float pass. and the whole stretch of road is like some sort of club when some lala zhais decided to show off the quality of their subwoofers.

Cause apparently they think chicks dig subwoofers more than oranges now.

The only thing I like was the "kong ming" lanterns.You know, the kind which people often mistaken for UFOS.

UFO!!.. erm I mean kongming lanterns!

Pss: I didnt throw any orange. Figured my destiny does not rest in the hands of an orange. Besides I dont like to waste food.

Psss: Sorry no pictures, my pc baru reformated takde bluetooth software.

Pssss: Thanks for the advice for my earlier post. And I think I'll just stick to keeping silent. Like angelin said, it really isnt about whether what you do or not do or say. Its whats best for now.

Besides, if those two were made for each other, they'd be together eventually, whether through divine or earthly intervention.

Cause although as skeptical as I am as cynical as I try to be, I really really do believe in destiny.

Happy belated chap goh meh people!

Labels: nonsensical, random, short stories, tall tales, thoughts

Its none of my business

Today I had a long chat with a friend who stopped studying and went to Singapore to work. It was kinda nice considering how long we havent really talked.

So there we were updating each other about how things are going when we suddenly went into this deep topic about people's relationships or lack of it wtf. haha

Then he started asking me about his ex-girlfriend, who he still cares deeply about. and how is she doing in her current relationship.

I told him she was fine when she wasnt.
Cause I know she currently in an abusive relationship which she is afraid of ending.
Cause her current boyfriend has ties with gangsters.

But you know what, I didnt spill the milk.
considering that it is after all, none of my business.

But it didnt stop me from feeling guilty.
And that feeling intensified when he told me that sometimes, he thinks about marrying her.
When I asked him why.
He told me shes the kind of girl which he wants to spend his life with.

Sweet right?
You can almost hear the air supply music playing in the background now.

I know he's a good guy.
and will treat her well and make her happy.
But I didnt tell.
Cause its none of my business.

And she did tell me that she has intentions to get back with my friend.
I didnt tell him either.
Cause its none of my business.

But..... it doesnt make me feel less guiltier anyway.

But I did wish him luck.
and told him I hope for only the best for them.
I really do.

Eventhough it really is none of my business.
I feel guilty about keeping my silence.

Yet again, you cant be guilty if you keep your silence.... right?

Labels: life, random

A tribute to someone

Labels: personal, random

Abstract is beautiful.

Her eyelids was closed momentarily as she takes in a deep breathe. And then exhaled slowly. An act not caused by anger, by frustration, by worries.... in fact, the root of that particular act was not caused by any particular negative emotion.

For that breath she just exhaled, made her felt almost........ relieved.

Perhaps she really made of stronger stuff than she thinks she is made of. For she is made of quiet memories, of happy laughter, of faded photographs of smiling people she loves, of wasted tears which never flow anymore, of silent remorse, of simple hopes, of unrewarded optimism, of unrealistic daydreams, unrepented mistakes, unfulfilled birthday wishes, unspeakable truths which she refrains from talking about, of messy bedrooms which she had lived in before, of doodles which she draws on her books when she is thinking, of people she had met before, of places which she had traveled to.

Neither perfect nor terribly imperfect, she is just like everyone else. Unique.
Neither too lovable nor too loathable, she is just like everyone else. Special.
Neither terribly euphoric nor too depressed, she is just like everyone else. Balanced.
Neither a savant nor an idoit, she is just like everyone else. Blessed.

And she'll continue to take cautious little footsteps on the path of life. Just like how her parents had taught her to walk. A small step at a time. Never rushing yet not stopping to compare, to discriminate or to judge. Perhaps she shall falter, fall and procrastinate abit. Or be distracted by pretty shiny things. But eventually, she will get where she wants.

This post is for all the beautiful women in my life.

Labels: random

• more parking places
• more trees
• better air cond system cause the current one is too cold.
• GSC cinema seats for lecture hall.
• Repair some of the older lecture halls.
• Wireless microphones for lectures cause wired ones are just plain troublesome.
• Subsidized mcD and kfc in the canteen. Gosh we need real wholesome food
• Better security
• More handsome lecturers. Preferably ones that look like lee hom
  sorry guys, cant ask for pretty lecturers, you people would fall for her and then all the girls will go after me for causing them to lose their bfs/fiances/husbands.
• Free electricity for the college cause electricity supply sometimes just go off. Eh pay the bills la people.
• Better PA systems cause the current ones are faulty.
• A less beauracratic administrative system.
• Projectors for every tutorial class. Presentations will be cooler if we have projectors

This post is very long. I wonder who might even bother reading this anyway.

Labels: life, random, thoughts

Evil looking masks line the street lamps.

Some merchandises at Jonker street.
oh so retro.

Though I cant fight off that nagging feeling that the one on the bottom left looks like porn.

60's porn.
Fuck, something's wrong with me.

For old people, by old people.

I was like "shop or temple?" when I saw this.
The sign told me it was a shop.

like duh.

I told dad he was so cool to take me to malacca's "red light district" when he drove past here. He laughed and we ended up in on of malacca's nightspots later. (alot clubbing places with lame names there)

I call this the lala zhai trishaws.
(loud colors. loud music. the similarities are astounding)

This church sure has a grand hollywood boleuvard entrance.

Famous chicken rice ball!
Didnt eat cause sister was feeling sick.
Potong steam betul.

Dont ask me why theres an altar at a stall at Jonker street. weirdness.

Since I have generously shared with you all these superb and excellent images worthy of praise from the malaysian tourism department, I shall now post one horrendous picture of mine with my sister. Let me try to explain that it is an uphill battle, and indeed a futile and difficult task to get her to take a picture with me. And indeed my success was made possible only because she was in a good mood. And when we finally get a picture where BOTH of us look ok, I had to ruin it with something that looks like a peace sign cause i was holding on to my handphone.

wtfwtfwtf.

Relatives always wonder why I ended up looking so different so suddenly. I am highly tempted to tell them its plastic surgery. A few rounds somemore.

Anyway, happy chinese new year people!
and apparently I aint as lazy as I thought I was. This post is really long!

Labels: photography, random, weird

Someplace called here

As they say, changes are inevitable. I'd like to believe that everyday brings new tidings, new insights, perhaps new reasons for you to continue what you do.

Sometimes things do get pretty.
Sometimes they just get plain ugly.

Judging from my blogging pattern, you'd probably think I am some drug which induces rollercoaster-like mood swings. And you know what people? Its true, I am on a drug. A drug called life.

Effects make vary depending on individuals. For myself, I think it has gotten me a little delusional, but with a pinch of optimism and a perchance for trying to imagine that the cup is half full even when it isnt. Sometimes sarcastic, perhaps to a point of being cynical, full of doubt of what lies ahead. And with a terrible sense of time. A little paranoid perhaps, but arent we all? Despite all the protective mechanisms that we surround ourselves with, we can be strangely naive creatures, putting our trust into people we hold dear to. Though sometimes they might not hold us as dear as they do to us.

Sometimes we let simple things grow complex and then we get perplexed and slightly disorientated. And darnit, sometimes we tend to complicate the simplest things. Such is the irony of everything.

We bleed, we scar, but we heal. We grow. We live. And eventually we die.

But you know what? Eventually, all the changes we go through, its worth the trouble. Take this from someone who has been to 2 primary schools and 3 secondary schools in her lifetime as a result of having highly nomadic parents.

Kinda makes me chill more easily when problems arise cause I know, eventually things will be okay.

I believe things will be okay... someday.
I hope you do too.

In someplace called here.

Labels: thoughts

Birthdays,4d and casinos

Warning: This post is very random that it would appear that the blogger has suffered a terrible blow to her head prior to typing this. Or had taken some Blue Magic** beforehand.

** Go watch American Gangsters. You will understand what I am talking about. Superb movie btw. Frank Lucas, you cant help but fear and admire him.**

Random: About Casinos

Lol. this is so random but you know, since chinese new year is coming and we are all turning in people in our twenties, I thought I'd want to share some of the casino ethics ith everyone.

FYI I got my inspiration sometime ago when I managed to sneak in. Didnt dare try all these out.. for obvious reasons.

If you have any suggestions, please add on :D

Mei Kay's things to do in a casino
1. Stand behind a person making big bets and sigh heavily (haiihhhh yo)
2. Stand behind a person making big bets and go "tsk tsk" while giving him dissaproving stares. Optional: You can change it to chanting "seiah seiah" (cantonese for die ah) like a mantra.
3. Stand opposite the person making big bets and shake your head sadly (in an almost sympathetic way) to the person next to you, preferably an accomplice.
4. Each time the person flips open to reveal his or her card, you gasp and act surprised.
5. In the game of roullete or any game which requires the person to choose a number, say "aiyo" each time the uncle chooses a number.
6. Stand near the uncle and suddenly go "fatt ah!". For best results, time it at inappropriate moments so that they will drop their cards in shock.
7.When they win, grab them and hug them while jumping up and down madly shouting congratulations as if they won the toto mega sweep wtf.
8. Wear all black and tell the peopl that you just came back from your grandmother's funeral.

Random: About Birthdays and 4d
On my birthday, since I was so lucky for continuously having to go through economics tests for both years, I jokingly told my mom to buy the code number for my economics paper : 3300.

She didnt.
and then later at night, she was really mad with herself cause it came out.
third price somemore. haha. if pau lah.
according to magnum4d.com wtf.

this is the third time already this has happened in a year.
one time i told my mom to buy that number I liked so much from my hospital appointment.
came out next day.
another time I told her to buy my ic number
it came out in 5d the next week.

sad thing is that she only listen to me once nya.
and no it wasnt the 5d one :(

Now my mom thinks I am superlucky and keeps asking me to churn out numbers for her to buy. wtf.

I asked her "Do I look like choy sun to you?"
She retorted with "If win got commission one wor."
To which I retaliated "I dont want commission. I want share. 60-40"

Seems appropriate for me to ask for share. Considering I AM a business student.

Ps: Sorry for the very ah lian post. hahaha I cant believed I blogged about 4d lah.

Additional note:
Oh yeah, happy holidays people!
and for the people who wished me birthday in any form and manner, thank you!
Especially to those people who were so sweet to wish me punctually at 12 am.

Unfortunately I didnt punctually thank them.
Testimonial of what a lousy person I am.

and angelin for her her bday dedicated post to me.
You know you can hold my hand anytime :D

Anyway, as long as you wished me I sayang you people.
Even if you didnt wish me, but treat me nicely during the rest of the 364 days, you're forgiven.

Such a forgiving person I am wtf.

Labels: random